


A Fortunately Unfortunate Situation

by ThreeHats



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon), Free!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:44:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was walking out of the pool now, and the water spilled off of him in small droplets that inched down his back and along the modest curve of his butt.  Which wasn't to say that Tina didn't appreciate boys with small butts--quite the opposite.  She liked big butts.  She couldn't lie.  But no butt was a bad butt in Tina's eyes, and this butt was far from even being called a good bad butt.  It was just a normal good good butt.  Not a great butt.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fortunately Unfortunate Situation

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Characters:** Tina Belcher, Haru  
 **Location:** On a couch that forces you to awkwardly touch the person next to you  
 **Scenario:** Wearing crusty old pants

 

Silence.

That's all that was between them. And that's all that had been between them for the last fifteen minutes. Metaphorically speaking, anyway. Was that the correct usage of the word? In a not-physical way. Physically, there was even less between them, and Tina was all too aware of that.

Tina Belcher was sitting next to a boy on a couch. A quiet boy. A boy who kept pressing into her. Not out of any interest, however sad it made her to admit. She was pretty sure it was because the couch that they were sitting on was lumpy and shaped horribly wrong, and no matter how they shifted and moved, the two of them would always be pressed up against each other--something that was made all the more heavenly by the fact that the quiet boy she sat beside was shirtless.

She remembered the first time she had laid eyes on him. Well, today anyway. His jet black hair sparkling in the sun as he erupted from beneath the water in the community pool. Tina knew his name--he was a new student at her school and had many of the same classes with her, though he hardly paid attention in any of them. She knew this because she was too busy watching him to do her own schoolwork.

Haru.

However, in her mind, he was called Grumpus. He reminded her of an angry cat. And that's what made him all the more irresistible. Bad boys were one thing. Angry cat boys? She almost couldn't bear it.  
She had been lounging nearby in a chair, letting her soft skin darken, and she pushed her own black, luxurious locks of hair out out of her eyes. Tina removed her glasses in disbelief, to make sure that she could get a good look at the swimming boy. But she soon remembered that she needed glasses to see when taking off the thick black frames did nothing to help. She looked left. She looked right. She couldn't tell if anyone had seen her remove her glasses, because she was still blind. She replaced them on her nose and went back to staring.

He was walking out of the pool now, and the water spilled off of him in small droplets that inched down his back and along the modest curve of his butt. Which wasn't to say that Tina didn't appreciate boys with small butts--quite the opposite. She liked big butts. She couldn't lie. But no butt was a bad butt in Tina's eyes, and this butt was far from even being called a good bad butt. It was just a normal good good butt. Not a great butt.

Butts aside, Haru was entirely out of the pool now, wiping down with a towel. A shame, because the sheen from the water on his skin made his lean muscles look even more defined and apparent. But alas, Tina shouldn't allow herself to be distracted by the handsome young man anymore. She had important things to do. Like brush her Pony Friends hair.

Tina pushed herself up out of the chair she was sitting in, waiting to be noticed, but froze halfway up as she saw her mother approach Haru and chattering at him excitedly about something or other. But about what? About how he needed to calm down and put a shirt on before Tina couldn't help herself? Or because her mom had somehow managed to find her butt journal and read the page she had written about HaruOHMYGO--

"Mom!" Tina exclaimed, running faster than any human ever possibly could run, even Sonic the Hedgehog. Her mom seemed nonplussed by the sudden outburst. Tina huffed and puffed from the short run, but leaned over to rest on a pole to try and look cool. She did not. She slipped and fell forward slightly, but managed to catch herself. Still, the damage it had done to her coolness was irreversible. 

"Oh, hey honey! I was just talking to Haru here. His mother just ran into me and told me that the rest of his family will be out for a bit and asked if we could keep an eye on him for the afternoon!"

Though she was pretty sure it wasn't physically possible, Tina had stars in her eyes. Thank God she knew how to reflect the sun in her glasses to hide her delight, like in those anime shows. Guh she looked so cool.

And that's how she found herself here. On the couch. Next to Haru. There was another chair in the room, but admittedly, Tina didn't really care to remove herself from any situation that allowed her to touch a half-naked boy. He didn't have much choice--her mother had told him to wait there while they tried to find him some clothes he could wear. Apparently he only wore bathing suits half the time, and Tina's mother loved to ruin everything by putting shirts on boys without shirts.

"So... what would you like to do today?" Tina asked, breaking the silence between them. "We could play with my pony friends dolls. Or we could play with something cooler, like the grill downstairs."  
"I don't like ponies," Haru said simply. Tina choked.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't like ponies," he repeated. "They're on the ground. I prefer sealife."

"So what about... sea horses?" She asked tentatively. Haru grunted.

"Yes."

"What does that me--"

"Okay!" Her mom cried out, holding a shirt presentationally as she entered the room. "I found you some cool new threads. This is a concert t-shirt from a show that Bobby took me to when we were   
younger. Believe it or not, he could actually fit in something this small!" She honked in laughter. "And I'm so sorry Haru, but unfortunately, I only have these old jeans of Tina's.... And I'm not sure if they're washed."


End file.
